Wonderfully-Absurd

So it seems that i have to cross off "walking" from my few remaining skills on my C.V. (I believe I am down to just 'Self-Delusion' and 'James Brown Impressions' now...). My pronounced inability at essentially putting one foot in front of the other rewarded me with a six hour stint in The Royal London Hospital A&E (apparently THE place-to-be if you enjoy shouting at various inanimate pieces of waiting room furniture) compliments of a torn ligament in my ankle. I'm not looking for sympathy (though I will be accepting cash sums in its place - if interested contact me further about arranging a direct debit) as it was my own stupid fault, somethi

What not to do if you wish to make and retain friendships with your flatmates: No. 1, Remember what you’re allergic to. If it doesn't say on the pack what kind of Chillies they are don't buy them. No. 2, When using the Chillies which you forgot to check - prepare them wisely, do not dip in-and-out as transference of the essence of chilly will create reactions on other parts of the body... also remember that there is a 15 minute delay between touch and reaction. No. 3, When confronted with the searing burning pain of the allergic reaction on several parts of your body, (which you have thus far created through a combination of ineptitud

Ingredients: 1/2 a Cup of Essay deadline stress 2 Cups of Moving out 100 grams of Forgetfulness 1 Kilo of being a Lazy Bastard A sprinkling of Creative Block .... Ok thats enough of that. First I must admit that as I type this I am meant to be focusing on writing my essay (which is currently minimised), second as you can tell I have up to this point avoided writng in the journal since I have a remarkable predilection for writing absolute rubbish. I haven't had alot of time since moving into halls of residences (and sharing a flat with a narasissitc but otherwise lovely Russian, a Sri Lankan who is new to Britain another Russian with a